Is your relationship a square, circle or triangle?

Just wondering...

out of the 3 basic shapes, which would your relationship fit into?

According to The Basic Elements of Visual Communication,

Square: dullness, honesty, straightness, workman-like
I guess this is usually what happens to a relationship as the passion and fire of love gets eroded by the passage of time. Just learnt from my favorite aunties that it takes effort to keep the romance alive. Dullness is what happens when the relationship reaches a plateau and tapers off. I'll definitely keep this in mind. Although there isn't any conflict, but you know what they say, lack of conflict is not a very good thing either.
Circle: endlessness, warmth, protection
Ahh... the most secure feeling on earth, the ring - a symbol of neverending love and devotion. Now you know the meaning behind putting that on someone's finger. Better make sure you're prepared to provide the warmth and protection for the rest of your life!
Triangle: action, conflict, tension
The most favorite in all dramas - conflicts and the typical love triangle. Interesting, spicy but not very healthy...

just my thoughts for today. =)

Our 1-minute video assignment for COM 206 is now on Youtube!
Title: Take My Heart Com 206

Yay...

OMG. Someone just guessed my age to be 12!!!

I don't know whether to be happy or sad.

I actually think I'm amused.

What really comes to people's minds when they try to guess a person's age, I wonder. Does behavior matter? Appearance? Speech? Well, I guess, I don't really behave like I'm 20. I can be quite childish at times (in a good way, I prefer to believe). But when it comes to making big decisions, I've been told I'm mature beyond my years. All thanks to the wisdom provided me through God's Word. As for speech and other mannerisms, in a way I'm like my mother, still young at heart.
What about appearance? Hmm... interesting. Check out this website on How to Guess Ages More Accurately. I guess people always guess me younger because of my height. Petite people tend to look younger. Good thing but I hope I don't look short and fat when the love handles grow with age... Oh and my hair - wavy and natural messiness - makes me look younger compared to auntie curls or sophisticated straight hair. Ethnicity also plays a part. Since I'm rather tan and dark, age is camouflaged pretty well.
What about lifestyle clues? I can say I don't use very much slang of my generation and I have friends spanning the ages of 10 all the way to 80. So it would be kinda difficult to estimate my age from the people I'm surrounded by.

Any o how, I'm just grateful that I'm alive, whatever my age.

This week has been a really tiring, depressing, emotional week.
206 filming has not only hit so many dead-ends and had to make a u-turn, but conflicts and tension have abounded between friends and groupmates. I'm getting quite sick and tired of it. Also starting to hate myself for not being able to control my tone of words. Besides, IMM playground seriously has tons of mozzies... they had a feast sucking the life outta me.
Oh, and another first: got pulled down to the fire command centre (FCC) of IMM by the security guard and ordered to stop filming. And got escorted back to the playground to ensure that we packed up and left. At least the guard was quite nice. He was just doing his job but the upper mgmt.. hmm.. no comments. Starting to think rules and protocols and all the red tape put in place just takes precious time away from our lives when we could all be using that time to do more productive and meaningful things.

Today, I just had to get my mind off school and stress. So I went to catch the movie "My Sister's Keeper". I tell you... I think it's the 1st time I spent an entire hour (like really), crying. Warning: The movie's not just a tearjerker; it's literally a sobbing activator. My whole new pack of tissue was used up by the end of the movie. And I was having such a hard time breathing cos my nose was blocked part of the time and trying not to make so much sound with all the sobbing and blowing of nose. Especially since the show was one of those kinds which is slow-moving and sad and silent, one could even hear a pin-drop, not to mention all my weird sounds from my sobbing and runny/blocked nose.
I tell you I will never again watch such a heartwrenching movie at the cinema. It's just such a chore. At least if I watched it at home, I could make all the sounds I wanted and not disturb anyone. When I left the theatre, this whole group of guy standing outside the restroom were like staring at me... must have been thinking why my eyes and nose are so red and swollen. Embarrassing... Then, all the way home in the car, my eyes were like stinging dry and pain after all the tears had been emptied. Didn't know watching a movie could be such an interesting experience for my body.
One benefit's for sure:
Watching a sorrowful movie that makes you cry is certainly a great release.

Haiz... suddenly feeling very weird and nostalgic.. not that i have many memories to think about actually... just the feeling of nostalgia. Please skip this post if u're tired of hearing emo stuff. Originally this blog wasn't set up to pour out my whines.. but I guess once in a while it can be forgiven. =)

First things first, today was a wonderful day except I feel a little guilty for not practicing my piano for at least an hour. Got distracted after playing for just 10 mins or so... And I din do much studying or assignments too. That's because today was Roy and Christine's wedding! The 2 people in the world I truly believe are 100% compatible. Each of them a gift from God to the other. Yeap. And I myself felt quite good and pretty after doing up my hair at the hairdresser in Bukit TImah Shopping Centre. My 1st time there actually and I thought it would be a disaster but it turned out better than expected! And I wore a maroon 'langa' Indian outfit today. It was originally purchased for my brother's wedding 3 years ago but I didn't wear it for his big day in the end. So today was my 1st time wearing it too. Not bad.. Everyone said it was pretty. =)

Haha.. just realised that I started this post really emo-like but so far it's been on quite a happy note. Well, the big day was great.. the performance by the choir was touching, the children - enjoyable, the friends - wonderful. It's just so great to know that we have so many loving brothers and sisters that can really be our true friends, who go all out to make this wedding a success.

Yup. So anyway, came home and started looking for pens. Recently, all my pens have ended their life span. So it's been quite annoying. Will have to make a trip down to Popular to load up on my ammunition. ( The pen is mightier than the sword) hehe.. Ok lame.

So while I was ransacking my drawers, I saw the 2 white feather pens that he gave me. Surprisingly, the ink still runs. Naturally, I thought of stuff.. and then I turned on my computer to check my e-mail. Who knows... I received a message from FB. Apparently, he sent a msg telling me not to put my hp no. on my wall besides saying hi. Hmm.. u know it's always funny how when you think of something, or someone, then somehow u will keep encountering those things/people in that period of your life (like pregnant women beginning of this year when I was doing a project topic on pregnancy and my sister-in-law got pregnant after that; then matchmaking and marriages too...it's just so weird.. wonder if there's some theory to explain this phenomenon).

Anyway, he must think I'm desperate. Haiz. I forgot to delete the no. but I did ask N to tell me once he had noted it so we could organise our class gathering more easily. Anyway, I should be happy for the both of them and look forward. After all, God will reward me (just as he did R&C) as long as I persevere and concentrate on the more important things.

"that you may make sure of the more important things, so that you may be flawless and not be stumbling others up to the day of Christ," - Philippians 1:10

This seems to be the season for weddings. And it seems that I have the potential to be a wedding helper. Just last Saturday, I was privileged to help out in K&M's big day; first, as a chauffeur for the helpers to and fro and second, as some sort of bridal assistant, trailing behind the bride to carry her gown, collecting ang pao on her behalf, trying to give her encouragement and calm her nerves, etc. I must say it's very tiring but rewarding.

Right after K&M's big day, I was invited to be involved in R&C's upcoming wedding. Just came home from the briefing, in fact. This time, I'm supposed to be the chauffeur for the helpers again, also arranging of the tables and chairs at Fort Canning, and finally the receptionist. I feel so honored to be helping out yet I wonder if I'll be able to cope with not getting enough rest these past few weeks. Been feeling very tired. Not that I've been studying very much, just accumulated lack of sleep from staying up late I guess. Anyway, all the weddings have been giving me stuff to think about if I ever do get married...

1. I think I prefer Buffet style.
2. Maybe somewhere either really classy or a simple romantic evening outside in tune with nature under big tents or something.
3. Have both families look at the guest list and table seating arrangement in advance.
4. I think a bride should get enough rest so earliest she should wake up (if she can sleep at all) should be 8am.
5. Dinner should be early so it won't end later than 10pm.
6. Treat all helpers and thank them sincerely through cards or some other means.
7. Don't invite people I don't like.
8. If need be, have 2 dinners, one for people I really like, with performances, dance and songs; another for people who need to be invited for formality's sake like relatives who are not so close.
   
9. Do away with the groom coming to pick the bride up and then going to the wedding venue. It's just too troublesome and I don't see the need for it.
10. Have a reliable bridesmaid, a responsible Director of feast and a trustworthy best man.
11. Have fun during the wedding! After all, it's your big day! You should be happy and not let anyone else spoil it for you.

Yup. I guess that's all for now. Anyway, there's still a long road ahead till I meet THE ONE. Haha... Back to watching K-drama! Tata!

Do you know what's the meaning of Bossa Nova?

According to Wiki, it comes from the Portuguese word meaning 'new trend'. Ok, before I go on rambling about trends and innovations, I better warn you that I'm really sleepy and drowsy (must be the food I ate at Shah Jahan Indian resetaurant just now..). Yeah, so the only reason why I'm writing this is because I'm bored of studying, trying to keep my eyes open and stimulate my brain cells to think instead of dozing off.

I've got 3 mid-terms next week and this week has just been full of activity. Not necessarily activity in the sense of 'action' but more of emotional activity? I don't know. Well, I'm really happy that a few Korean brothers and sisters actually sent me e-mails. I wrote to Min-ho and Bo-hua but they still haven't replied. =( Only Jongkeun did. Anyway, V's also out.

Back to innovations and new trends... let's see... any idea what's the latest trend this year? Well, for outgoing techies, according to Trendhunter magazine, a useful must-have especially in times of emergencies would be the hand-crank cell phone charger. That would be good hand-exercise.. wonder if they could invent one that can crank off the fats accumulating around my waist. hmm.. okay... going off tangent..

Applying the Diffusion of Innovations theory, I have the feeling that this innovation will probably never reach critical mass, and thus never take off. I, for one, will not spend money on a hand-crank cell phone charger mainly for 2 reasons:

1. I'm not a camper and will most likely not be staying outdoors for more than 2 nights. Hence, my hp is not likely to fail me because I will ensure it is fully charged before I go to camp.
2. As the product hasn't even been released in Singapore according to my knowledge, I doubt I will see it anytime soon due to poor market demand for such items in Singapore which is a technological society that isn't very outgoing. And who on earth would want to carry an extra weight around just to charge the phone for like 5 extra minutes? In the first place, I wonder how long it takes the person to crank the phone in order for it to be charged enough to make a decent call.

Okie, I think I better stop talking nonsense and prepare for meet. Supposed to be playing badminton with my dad now but he's sleeping and I'm too tired to wake him up. There goes the exercise I've been waiting for for 4 months...

Seoul World Cup Stadium was just brimming with more than 50 000 people from all over the world. This united brotherhood just overwhelmed me with indescribable feelings.

Our elderly hosts actually gave up their bedroom for us. This is the special stonebed which is good for the bones of older people. That's why mum said she was surprised she didn't get backache at all for the 5 days we stayed there. The bed also has a heater! The 2 roses on the bed were given to us by the welcoming party at the airport. =)
'Angelic' voices of the sisterly chorus. They sang in so many different languages and those in the front row even sang with sign language!

Wow... it's been quite some time since I've expressed my thoughts on blogger. Academia really takes away 'me' time. No wonder people go mad with the lack of opportunities to vent their stress and engage in self-expression. The outlets are there but the chance to use those outlets are almost negligible.

Anyway, some quick updates. I've decided to drop the URECA project. Bee was trying to convince me like a mother of how it would be a really good thing to have under my belt, especially if I were to pursue post-grad studies and get a scholarship. Yes, I know that it's an opportunity that I should cherish, especially since it's only given to 5% of the school, according to her. But, my piano teacher just told me that I should really register for grade 8 piano exam which will be in the ocming Feb/March. I really want to pass this time, which means I need to devote on average at least 10 hours to practicing my piano each week. Honestly, I've never done that for the past 5 years, hence my failure for the past 2 exams. But I really want to get it over and done with. Weighing piano, URECA and spiritual progress... without a doubt, Jesus said to seek the kingdom first (Matthew 6:33) so I need to put spirituality as my top priority. Then, comparing URECA and piano, I'm thinking I've more or less decided, especially after the Korea trip, that I'm not going to pursue post-grad. Instead, I want to look for a job that I'm happy with and will be able to support my pioneering in the future. Yup, that's my goal. So, at least if I had my piano cert, that would help me get a job that is rather flexible in case I can't find other jobs outside. It's a skill I'm acquiring. This makes me lament the fact that there are hardly any vocational schools in Singapore.

Oh well, I did not start this post with the intent of talking about URECA. I actually wanted to share the many wonderful experiences I had in Korea for the past 2 weeks and the warm, friendly, hospitable people that I met. I shall talk about that in the next post then. But to keep you interested, here are some pictures:

Labels: vacation

This week's been filled with Communication Theories and History classes. Not to mention meeting with professors to discuss potential research projects I can take up for URECA. It's a real privilege that I've been given this opportunity but I'm just quite concerned with the fact that I'll have to put in an additional 10 hrs a week on average. I guess Bee hardly gave ma a choice. Or rather, she made the decision for me by handing me notes to read and a thick book on Bilingualism to familiarise myself with the topic. I kind of feel obligated because of the high expectations she has of me and I don't want to disappoint her.

This really makes me reflect on myself though. Just like what Jemin said, I'm always leaving the major decisions in my life to be made by others. Haiz. I'm such a people-pleaser, and I feel as if my human identity has been reduced just by that thought of my inability to make decisions of my own.

Anyway, thought I'd discuss something about the first written texts. The first texts were religious texts and they were hand-copied by monks in monasteries. When one ponders about it, the significance is really great. It just goes to show how sacred, how important religion was to people in the past. Spirituality was often the top priority. And, we really owe it indirectly to religion that people have literacy today. It's all because people in the past placed such a great value on spiritual things that they so very much wanted to read the Bible and other religious texts. Hence, Gutenberg's Bible sold like hot cakes and it motivated him to continue printing other types of books. This hunger for knowledge is a human attribute. It is what drives the education system today. It is what the greatest research institutes of our time are built on.

One historian well noted: “Intellectual pleasures give only a brief satisfaction, unless directed to a practical end. . . . Never should we stimulate the intellect merely to feed upon itself. Unless intellectual culture is directed to what is useful, especially to the necessities or improvement of others, it is a delusion and a snare.”—Beacon Lights of History, Lord, Vol. 5, p. 299.

Really, I can't help but agree with the forementioned statement. Many a times, I study and study and then pause to wonder why on earth am I studying os hard? How practical is the knowledge I'm gaining from my education? Does it really help me lead a meaningful life? Often, the answer is no. Thank God I have with me the oldest book of all time (and the very first that was printed too) - The Bible. In it contains the most valuable truths one could find - The truth that leads to everlasting life - John 17:3.

“If you keep seeking for it as for silver, and as for hid treasures you keep searching for it, in that case you will understand the fear of Jehovah, and you will find the very knowledge of God.”—Proverbs 2:4, 5.

The knowledge of God... how seemingly unreachable... how easily obtained.

The past week has been super hectic, having seen the doctor 3X for the irritating itch that I've been having since I came back from Malacca. Initially, I got a scabies scare but lucky, that's been tested negative. Seems my skin is just so sensitive that I was allergic to some insect bites in the dirty Hotel room. That's what you get for being on a budget trip.

The weekend has been relatively relaxing and tiring. Parents have gone to KL for a wedding. They'll only be back tonight. So I managed to do a little bit of practice on my piano, some reading, saw a bible study and got half of my packing for Korea done. Being a girl sometimes can be quite troublesome, albeit the interesting parts of life, when it comes to dressing... Can't believe I spent more than an hour trying on clothes in front of the mirror. Well, actually I can. That's what girls do! Haha..

Oh yea, I was a good girl today...actually mopped the house. I tell you - having a dog really teaches one to be responsible. So I guess, next time when I have kids, I''ll learn as much from them or just by having them as they will from me. Or even before that, when I take care of my soon-to-be-born nephew!

A first in my life this weekend: Ordering Home Delivery from Sarpinos.
One tip: their pizzas are way better than their pastas.
And a wonderful sales technique I just realised: they actually require a minimum order of $20 for home delivery. Which is great for their business but doesn't that kind of discriminate against singles? I mean if I wanted to eat by myself since I was alone at home, then why would I need to order so much? Making Maggi Mee would be so much more cost-effective. But then again, that just has associations with a pathetic loner and it's such a cliche solution. At least, eating alone at home wouldn't be so bad if I had a feast, it has the ability to lift up my mood.

Walking into school this first week of a new semester felt like the floodgates of the heavens just opened, drenching me in a tsunami of workload. Besides that, I'm starting to stres over missing weeks 3 &4 of school when I visit Korea for a Christian Convention.

Anyway, to get my engines started (especially since edveNTUre won't let me post.. stupid technology), I'm going to discuss a few thoughts on Media Effects today. Yeap, not surprised, it's COM256, this module I'm taking. Plus lots of new fanciful jargon that the communication discipline has introduced to me.

For one, Hagiography. This brings to mind, besides Wilbur Schramm and today's communication history class, Michael Jackson. Way more interesting character, huh? Honestly, I can say I am quite a fan of his because I admire & respect his talent, sympathise with his plight and numerous accusations by others, as well as feel touched by his meaningful songs and childlike innocence of Never Neverland. Ok, I'm digressing.

The point is the media (TV/Radio/News/Internet/New Media, etc) has actually engaged in the practice of Hagiography after his death. They have not only re-conferred Royalty upon him, as the title King of Pop clearly shows, but also shone the limelight on him for a considerable period of time. ALL types of media, literally, have not neglected covering at least a teeny aspect of Michael Jackson, his death and his life. So far, it seems that he has left behind a legacy to be continued and passed down for generations by the media. This makes me wonder - leaving behind a legacy would be next to impossible if not for communication, if not for media. This halo effect, as the Evolutionary Psychology discusses, just goes to show how media has the power to skew the image of a person to 1 end of a spectrum, almost for eternity. This ties in with History, a subject that if not cautious, could easily slide down the slippery slope of hagiography, saying nothing wrong about a person.

And for the first time this year, I think that the international masses actually wanted the media to cover a specific news story - the death of Michael Jackson, to shed light on his life story. This time, I think it quite safe to say, that the people got more out of media than they usually do - it was more of using media as a tool to communicate to the advantage of the public, than of newsmakers using media as a money-making machine (of course, they did make a substantial sum by cashing in on the opportunity to feed the appetite of the people). As David Hinckley, Daily News TV critic reports, " It does remind us, though, that networks can't ignore News Viewers Actually Watch. It also underscores the impact of stories that generate a passionate emotional investment. "

Haiz. I was initially going to write a wonderful, happy, uplifting post after 3 days in Malacca attending a spiritual banquet - Keep on the Watch. Was also going to tell you all about my delicious Nyonya Asam Laksa and Chendol that I slurped down at Jonker Street amidst the crowd and haze.

Unfortunately, returning back to Singapore was equivalent to jumping into a pool of workload and upcoming stress. I can't believe the notes and readings for tomorrow's lectures are already up. Just 1 module's readings for tomorrow have used up more than 20 sheets of my printing paper. How is global warming ever going to end with the amount of paper we print each day in the name of Education, I wonder.

Oh well, I guess I'll just share a bit of the spiritual food with my audience today. To be frank, I'm hoping this review daily will be able to remind me of spiritual things so I do not get pulled into the whirlpool of school and this system.

"Keep your senses, be watchful. Your adversary, the Devil, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone." - 1 Peter 5:8

So the word devour as used in the Greek scriptures actually has the meaning of to swallow down. The Devil really wants to swallow us down, to break our integrity to God. To do that, he makes our faith weak, soft, soluble so it's easy to devour us. In order to avoid being a victim, I really need to maintain strong and solid faith. Hope I will be able to continue keeping my faith strong even with the upcoming stress and schoolwork. After all, it concerns my life and future, much more than school.

Today was a hmm... how do I describe it... normal day? Well, more or less, except for a few unusual incidents.

Firstly, I wore a cap when I went out today! Haha.. it's the cap I got from Alaska. The short kind. Finally I found a type of cap that suits me. Most hats/caps don't, you see.

My cousin just asked me to help him find 100 girls to work at the upcoming F1 Event. And, I don't know why, but even though he said I won't be getting anything (apparently, he's not either since he asked me to fwd the contacts and e-mails to some Caucasian), I actually got excited and have advertised on FB, even sent an e-mail to my Prof to fwd to the rest of the CS population in NTU. I must be nuts, doing such things for free.

Seriously hope that they will appreciate my help and give me some benefits. Well, he did ask me to also work. I would if I didn't have to wear a mini-skirt/shorts and stand in the sun for 13 hours. I mean the pay is good, $15 an hour! And the experience, must be great. But, I'm selling clothes, for goodness sake. Not selling myself. Although people do say that a good salesman sells himself, his image. Well, that would be easy for me... but why can't I just wear jeans? Jeans can look sexy too!

And now, I have to even reply all the e-mails I'm getting, and queries too. I guess the only benefit is I get to see pictures of those who apply.. haha... I'm sure Daniel would love that. He loves commenting on photos, right Daniel?


Anyways, here are some pics of my 2nd cousin!

FINALLY!

Handphone pics have been uploaded to my Toshiba Portege Laptop...

I was never an ardent fan of technology but these past 2 days have just cemented my belief that Technology is not only tedious and troublesome, but also time-consuming ( yes, it is. Especially when they don't come with user-friendly manuals; so much for efficiency and convenience) and tiring (after losing my precious sleep and energy on trying to figure out technology). All the associations with technology start with "T"! Even Toshiba!

LG PC Suite is just abundant with problems and hiccups. Tried for hours to get my phone connected to my PC so I could upload pictures but it was only successful on the 1st attempt. After that, even advice from other LG Users from the internet just didn't seem to work. Uninstalling, re-installing, plugging in, plugging out... it's a miracle I didn't give up.

Well, at least I didn't give up on my ultimate goal - which was to upload pictures onto my laptop. So trying to be flexible, I tried out different means and decided on using the bluetooth connection. Even that didn't work for at least 2 hours. Toshiba Portege laptop (a Satellite model) is quite complicated when it comes to setting up bluetooth connection. Just Google the issue and you'll see the number of forums and questions that consumers of this Satellite model have raised.


This is the 1st picture I took to upload onto my computer for the 'trial run': the Toshiba laptop... they should thank me for advertising for them even after the trouble they made me go through.

Ok, I will upload more tomorrow. Just packed my luggage for Malaysia. Pretty exhausted and late now, gotta turn in. Sweet dreams~

Oh dear, it seems that the latest news I've been reading has got to do very much with teens. And they're not all that good either.

The first one I read reported by BBC was about how social networking sites (SNS) actually threaten community life - according to the Archbishop. Well, I've got agree to a certain extent that facebook, friendster, myspace... they're really all about the superficial. More often than not, people add friends just to widen their social circle. It's not how deep the relationship runs; it's about how wide the pool of so-called friends are, some of them whom you've never even met in real life before.

Of course there are those who say they have no intention of adding people they do not know as friends. But really, who can tell? Intention is one thing; temptation and curiosity, a totally different story. Up till now, I've ignored people I do not know a couple of times. Yet, there are times when I've accepted people who are friends of friends just for harmless fun. And later, discovered that I actually know them, not as a friend, but an acquaintance. From there, our lives are intertwined once again and a friendship begins. So, sometimes the story does have a happy ending.

Not brushing the risks under the carpet, we have to take note that whatever we put up, pictures and what not, will be accessible to many who are not even our friends. Sometimes I wonder how tight the security of Facebook actually is... for a simple computer noob like me, it would suffice. But what about a computer geek, IT intelletual, or worse, a cyberstalker and hacker? Technology is ever-evolving. What's the frequency of security updates on these SNS, I question.

In fact, recently, my elder brother added me on Facebook. And he's going to be a father now. (By the way, it's confirmed: I'm getting a nephew!!!) Imagine him playing Happy Farm or whatever childish application on FB.. haiz, I give up, my poor nephew's future is at stake. Then, even more recently, my mum added me on FB. If that's not enough, my dad too! Oh man! I suddenly feel as if my personal space has been intruded. It's not like I'm doing anything wrong or playing any silly games or posting erotic pictures of myself. But somehow, I always felt like FB was a youngster thing (even though I know teachers use them and old ladies too), a secret world of my own, and my friends. This just goes to show that despite the knowledge that such sites are available to anyone with internet access, regardless of age, most of us still go ahead and take the risks of putting up information of ourselves.

Children, take note, our parents are no longer old-fashioned and outdated as we think they are. They are very much as hip and trendy as the boy with headphones who's playing PS beside you on the MRT.

Ok, today I'll try not to be so dreary and depressing.

Let's see... oh yeah. Last night, my relatives from England came over to stay. So my princess chambers was converted into a family room with baby diapers and muslin and milk and nappy bags all over the place. I didn't have a very good sleep in my parents' bedroom as I was freezing in the air-con cold (to think I just came back from Alaska!), trying to cuddle myself as much as I could to generate whatever warm that was possible with the pancake-thin blanket sheet.

Anyway, woke up to the sound of baby cries and went downstairs for breakfast (Nestum - the only soft food for my still sore jaw). Ok, I'll fastforward to the 'fulfilling' parts of the day and skip all the complaints..

1. Practiced my Piano =) well, scales at least.
   
2. Killed a few more ticks. We're winning the battle!
3. Thouroghly cleaned my room with Kleenex glass cleaner, Wood Pledge; Vacuumed with Ajex (oookaaay.. I feel like I should be paid for advertising) and also my Dad's study room. Hehe, how kind of me yeah? But, kinda gave up when it came to the Master Bedroom. Shall do that tmr.
4. Cooked my own porridge with leftover green chicken curry, freshly-cut cabbage as well as eggs. Weird combination, huh? Well, I had to experiment with whatever there was at home that I could actually chew...
   
5. Started on my Resume. Actually, already started 2 days back but you know me, never satisfied; always meticulous when it comes to details. I'm such a nitpicker. At my own work, so don't worry.
   

So that's where the personal fulfilment kind of got ground to a halt when my Mum called to say she won't be coming home unless I wanted to accompany her to her aunty's place. Being the big baby that I am, I had to see my mama's face after the whole day of staring at the 4 walls of my house (actually, there should be more than 4... I'll count them 1 day and let you know). So off we went to Toa Payoh where I met my relatives from London, again.

Oh, I got a taste of being an aunt when I had to bring 4-year old David to the loo. He didn't want to enter the Male toilet by himself even after a man and another boy went in. So I had to bring him to the ladies and he actually made me like enter the cubicle with him and help him with his pants. Which is... I don't know whether I should be weirded out. Honestly though, it felt like a foreshadow of what my life as an Auntie would be in 6 months time. And, it felt quite natural, as if the motherly instinct was awakened. Sometimes I feel like a bigger sister; sometimes like a mother; sometimes like a friend. I guess that's what being an aunt is all about. =)

I've been feeling so depressed and emotional lately. Embarrassed too at my imperfect flesh, at my weakness, at my inability to control my own body. And it just dawned upon me that most negative words have the letters d, e and s. Hmm.. and actually that kinda makes up the word 'sad'.

I think I need to see a doctor. But it's just so troublesome to look for a specialist, to make the appointment, to go through the check-up's and scans... only to find out what I'm afraid of finding. But still, I need to do it soon before my condition gets worse and before I lose total confidence in myself.

I'm just so glad that I have God with me. Sometimes, I feel so alone, so helpless. I wonder how atheists actually survive through the 'downs' in their lives, denying the existence of a Creator who cares about us. I feel so sad for them. I pity them. The hopeless, meaningless life they must be leading, which makes me all the more thankful that I've come to know God and he's been there for me. Always have, always will.

In fact, today's day's text really echoed my thoughts, to the extent that I actually choked up tears of comfort and joy, knowing that I have received spiritual food at the proper time. Genesis 27:46 - "...I have come to abhor this life of mine..." The encouragement that followed really gave me the God-given strength and courage to cope with depressing situations.

You know, sometimes I wish that God could just hug me in his arms... and maybe he does, by means of an angel. Just as how the angels ministered to Jesus and comforted him, I'm sure He has sent his angels to comfort me in my times of distress. I pray that He will never ever forsake me, just as He has promised.

So today I'm staying at home again for the rest of the day. Woke up early for piano but was still 20 mins late. Cleaning my teeth is just so difficult now that my jaw can't open. No one can say I've got a big mouth now. Haha..

Anyway, the issue in today's blog post will be on Yasmin Ahmad's death. So young to pass away at the age of 51 due to a stroke. That's just 1 year older than my mum! So scary. I hope she doesn't have children my age.. not that I'm so young anymore but still it would be so scary if my mum was gone. Then I would be suffering right now with no one to cook for me porridge and give me emotional support in my times of pain (although she did go out today lols).

Well, the first time I was introduced to Yasmin Ahmad was the beginning of this year when my Sociology Professor let us watch the first part of her movie Sepet, which translated, means 'Slit/Chinese eyes'. The love story between a Malay girl and a Chinese boy was just so wonderful to watch. A simple, yet moving story that transcends all racial boundaries and proves that there is a common humanity that ties each one of us together. Also, the interview with Yasmin Ahmad on Razor TV was really eye-opening as I finally could put a face to the name. Her personality also shown through. She seems to be a very strong and open-minded person (having had relationships with an Indian, a Chinese and a Portuguese before).

We're different, yet the same. To quote a Watchtower article, "people of all races are capable of the same human qualities, the same human feelings..." Because we've been made in the image of God, we possess wonderful qualities such as love, the main theme of poems, dramas, film, art and music throughout the centuries, around the world.

This brings to mind the movie I watched yesterday (yes, I actually went to a crowded mall looking like an abnormal chipmunk). I caught the film Public Enemies starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. Even though the movie is categorised under the genre of Crime, Drama and History, I seriously think a running theme throughout is Love, Friendship and Loyalty. Except for the numerous scenes of rapid fire and machine guns, I can say quite frankly that I enjoyed the thrill and passion that abounded.

It is just so touching to see how a criminal, a murderer, can even as the Chinese would say "jiang yi qi", or in other words, act loyally with friends. It is even more touching to see how he remains faithful to the girl he loves, and even goes back to get her risking his own life. No wonder Jesus said in Luke 11:13- "Therefore, if you, although being wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more so will the Father in heaven give holy spirit to those asking him!"

Right, indeed! Just seeing how loving America's Public Enemy #1 could be in the movie made me realise we all have the capability to love, to be good. It's just whether we choose to, or not.

With that, I end this post with 'Bye bye, Black Bird.'

Oh man... I feel like a stroke patient. Although the numbness is fading as the local aneasthesia wears off, it is still so difficult to open my mouth to eat.

And now, the pain is starting to set in, the nerve sending the signals to my brain and the sharp yet constant tugging of the right side of my head. I know the pain I'm suffering is nothing compared to millions out there with chronic, debilitating illnesses. Yet, I just wish I wasn't blessed with the additional growth of wisdom teeth.

Having taken out 2 last year seemed like an easy feat and I managed to have a quick recovery. This morning, I was supposed to take out the remaining 2 wisdom teeth on the right side of my jaw, but eventually I left the dentist with the upper one spared (well, from the pain at least, since he did inject it a couple of times with a long needle to numb it with direct LA).
Here's why:
Last year, it took just 1/2 an hour to extract 2 wisdome teeth. Yet this year, even after 1/2 an hour, the oral surgeon was struggling with all his strength to apply pressure as he tried with all his might to pull out the impacted tooth. It was really difficult since it had grown out horizontally instead of upright and he had to find the right angle to pull it out (which apparently was never found).

So after 1 hour, and repeated drilling, tugging, and breaking of my tooth into chips, he managed to pull it out. It was the size of a walnut. I think I must have prayed so much for God to give me the peace that excels all thoughts and guard my mental powers. It really worked cos while I was really worried and fearful (I even dreamt about my wisdom tooth surgery last night), during the actual surgery, I remained rather calm and only flinched a couple of times when I felt pain.

I also prayed that God will give me the wisdom as to whether I should remove the upper tooth today as well. After all, the dentist said that that one was growing normally, just that my jaw was really small and tight. And that it probably wouldn't give me trouble for the next few years, at least. My mum wanted me to just pull out everything, like she did when she was 18 (all 4 at one go under GA). But after 1 hour plus in the dentist chair, and the dental surgeon asked, "So how? Want to pull out the upper one as well?" My mum immediately answered "No no... maybe next week then see how. She looks really tired already." Of course I was. I had to keep my mouth open for like 1 hour! But it really shows how God answers prayers. All the while, I thought the answer would come from the dentist himself. I even asked him what would he recommend but he remained non-committal. And here, the decision was made by my mum, the 1 person that was most convinced I should remove both today. How I love and appreciate God, the Hearer of Prayer.

I am so glad that today I spent an entire day serving God. After watching Nancy Yuen's interview last night, I was so enouraged and strengthened by her faith and conviction throughout her ordeals up to the end of her life. It's so true what she said - that it's much easier to just think of pleasing God for the next minute instead of the rest of your life.

After all, a life is converted into days, days into hours, hours into minutes.

This brings to mind Jesus' words in Matthew 6:34 - "So, never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Sufficient for each day is its own badness."

How wise.

Just looking at today's news about the climbing numbers of swine flu cases and a sick, perverted world of 3 prison inmates sexually assualting their former cellmate clearly shows we are living in critical times hard to deal with. Moral standards are almost non-existent and pandemics getting out of control. This world needs a change. It needs God's Kingdom.

Haiz.

A sigh to start off today's post will just give you a clue as to how my day went...

Well, honestly it wasn't too bad, just that while I was out today in the Ministry, the button on my skirt fell off, then as if the scorching sun wasn't enough, the sole of my shoes came off and I had to tie a rubber band I found on the floor around the shoe so it would stick together and I wouldn't trip. In addition, as I was walking back to the car, the wind gave my umbrella a strong "whoosh!" and my umbrella turned upside down, inside out.

So, with a spoilt shoe, a spoilt skirt, and a spoilt umbrella, I went to collect my newly printed namecards from Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. Thank God I ran back in time to see the summon lady looking at my car for the coupon (which was put like 4 hours before). I mean I had only gone up for 5 minutes to make the payment and get my cards. It would have been ridiculous for me to tear a 50-cents coupon which would last an additional 25 mins. Oh yeah, my wallet was feeling kinda empty as well. Thank God Jesmine lent me $20 just before I dropped her off. If not, I would have had to find an ATM to withdraw money and not have gotten back in time to avoid a parking ticket on my windscreen.

To add on to the spoiltness of today, my burnt, peeling skin got even more burnt cos of the Sun. Now it's so raw and sensitive. Painful too... =( And that reminds me of my Americaya shoes - beautiful black heels - only 3 months old and missing. Wonder if the cleaning auntie fancied it and decided to consider it 'thrown away'... *Boo hoo*...

I'm sitting here with a bowl of cornflakes in front of me as I contemplate how to convey to you, my dear diary, this beautiful experience that I had last week. I'm not sure I'll do justice to it with my words but it's the best way I can ever get so close to telling you how I feel...

On the first day of Kyungbok College English Summer Camp, I had to face a class of 40 students who seemed as matured as me, some maybe even more. I wasn't even supposed to be there, but by a twist of (I will not call it fate) God's spirit, I, without the necessary paper qualifications, was covering for someone else. After ice-breakers, we had to go through a worksheet to familiarise ourselves with basic profile of a person. For e.g., favourite colour, favourite food, etc. One of it was the question: What is your religion?

And of all people, I chose Irene to answer the question. I didn't even know her name then. Thinking I heard someone say 'Catholic', I asked her again, "Irene, you are Catholic, right?" With an emphatic "No," she added that she was a Witness of Jehovah. I was stumped for a moment. Then, I corrected her English (I can't believe my professional side actually did that) and said, "Jehovah's Witness". Maintaining professional expertise, I calmly continued with lessons.

Only on the 3rd day did I speak to her after class; the excitement in me just bubbling forth like a geyser about to explode. I was like "Me too!!! Do you want to attend the meetings?" I actually thought I saw tears of joy well up in her eyes as I felt the blood rushing up to my own cheeks. Nodding like one of those toys with a bob-head, she said yes and immediately asked me for directions and contact number.

I discovered that on her part, she had contacted Bethel a bit too late and so they had not got back to her in time. So evidently, Jah had answered her prayer. And I am so grateful and priveleged that He actually used me to contact her. It also goes to show that we really need to be proud of our own religion.
What if she had been shy to tell the class and answered 'Christian' instead?
What if someone else got to cover the teacher who could not make it?
What if I had chosen to ask another student the same question?

Things just wouldn't have been the same.

I thank God for the beautiful, beautiful experience that I've had. It enabled me to see the worldwide brotherhood we have. It enabled Irene (now I know her Korean name is Kim Mi Nah) to join us in worship here. She was so eager to attend even the Ministry! So encouraging...
And guess what? I'm going to Korea in about a month's time and I'll be able to see her and her family over there too!

Okaaay, Just pondering over this experience has made my cornflakes go soggy... back to eating now. =)

I've had enough and I seriously mean ENOUGH of ticks. Those little buggers just won't let my family off. First, they slyly crawl up my Bobby, then they have the nerve to leave the ignorant host and come uninvited into our house.

I can't believe I spent an entire day - my free day - smashing baby ticks, using a masking tape and sticking them onto the tape from the walls, and looking out for them till my eyes actually teared from being strained for 8 hours.

That almost made me hate Bobby. But, I also feel sorry for the big guy... He must be suffering after we put the tick powder on him and kept brushing him like a million times, waiting for those tiny 8-legged creatures to escape from their furry zone.

Now I'm like so paranoid I've to look at every inch of the wall when I walk up or down the stairs and check the chairs before I seat, even while I seat. Thank God I'm meticulous.

One day of murdering hundreds of baby ticks feels like I've just experienced an internship in a pest-buster company. Wonder if they have a job opening for me... I'm sure I'll be an excellent tick-inspector. =)

It was definitely a dreaded decision. Dragging it to the last 5 mins to declare to the class of 40 Korean students that I had been their teacher for only 3 days. That I was covering someone else. That it would most probably be the last time they ever saw me.

The funny thing is even though I'm about the same age as them and would have been friends with them if I had perhaps met them somewhere else, the sense of loss I felt as I bid farewell was that of a teacher. I don't even think I felt like a mentor to them. 3 days of English grammar and games was not enough to build a strong bond between me and them but it was an experience I'll never ever forget.

A few things I learnt from this camp:

1. No matter how old we are, there's a kid in everyone of us. And chocolates, they're definitely an ice-breaker.
2. Be strict but not too strict. Serious when it comes to assignments-"Don't play play" attitude would be helpful. But be a fun and loving person who is easy to approach when it comes to teaching/learning.
   
3. Handling a class of 40 is no easy feat. But when you're lucky enough to get students with a good attitude, it becomes as easy as ABC.
   
4. Always plan and prepare for an 8 hour lesson even if your lesson is only 4 hours.
5. Never underestimate the abilities of your students.
   
6. Learning the culture of your students and finding common ground is the best way to get their respect and attention.
7. Last but not least, self-discovery: I can be professional and be up to the job when the time calls for it. Well, at least for a teaching job. Don't know about others though.

Yeap, so the perfect 7 to end a wonderful week of working. =)

We've all heard this story before.

A boy commits suicide after failing his subject at school.

Was the problem really academic failure? Nope. It was the failure to meet up to his parent's expectations. It was the failure to please his parents. I would call it pleasing failure.

Recently, I've become self-aware that I am no longer a small child by age. But, even more self-aware that there exists inside of me an even smaller child. Nope. I'm not pregnant. Don't think otherwise. I'm talking about the small child in me that desires so much to please my parents. Specifically, my mum.

So I decided. I need to do something before I go crazy. I will refer to Eleanor Chin's article entitled 'Development of Self-Motivation: Why Pleasing Parents Too Much Can be Bad for Your Health'. She says that human motivation is driven by both intrinsic and extrinsic factors. Of course, parents and others come under extrinsic.

My mother wants me to continue learning piano regardless of my almost zilch interest in becoming a piano teacher. And my aunt from London tells me I should be a paediatrician instead of studying mass comm. Oh. And apparently I'm unfulfilled in what I am studying now. I will have to admit - yes. You see, the danger with external motivation of pleasing others lies in losing a sense of identity. Of course, if I couldn't even find myself, how could I be fulfilled? And what I am studying now, it's true I chose it. But the fact was I wouldn't have entered Uni if it wasn't for pleasing my parents. If it wasn't for pleasing society. Ok, I sound pathetic.

Before I go down the lane of self-pity and depression, I'll take refuge in God and see what he says. Colossians 3:20 - "You children, be obedient to your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing in the Lord."

hmm... after meditation, I've come to the conclusion that the only way to please myself within safe boundaries is to please God. After all, wise King Solomon made an interesting point when he said: " Foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy." - Proverbs 22:15. Disobedience to parents would be sign of immaturity. And I would much rather score at pleasing and be mature, than be self-indulgent and immature.

Of course, I'd still have to find myself and progress in carving my identity. With just 1 more month before school reopens, I need to go through my closet and get rid of clothes I don't really like. Of clothes that others have passed to me in goodwill and I've been too afraid of upsetting them if I did not wear it. I need to start dancing like how I used to do. Before I my dance moves get rusty. And before I grow old and my bones get rusty.

Yet, in an attempt to reconnect myself, I intend to heed God's advice. Be nicer to my parents. Be kinder in my words. And always think in a calm manner before I speak. =)

Labels: vacation

Labels: vacation

Labels: vacation

Labels: scenery, vacation

Labels: animals, vacation

Labels: scenery, vacation

Labels: vacation

A gift from God. A miracle in the making. That's the greatest, most wondrous news I could receive. And received, I did - from my brother. =)

So... I'm going to be an auntie now. Maasi! Tante! Tita! Gugu! ok. honestly, Gugu not so much. But the rest, yea, I just can't wait for my little nephew/niece (although I'd much prefer a nephew) to call me auntie in all these languages. How affectionate.. how sweet.

Ok. I think I'm way more excited than the mother. Haha. I actually googled on 'how to be an aunt' and Google, as always, has answers for the weirdest things. So I learnt that I should always offer to carry the baby when he/she's in a good mood, not when they're sick/miserable cos then they will associate me with unhappiness.

Hmm.. it's funny how I've been bugging Abi and Nas, my good friends, to let me be the god-mother of their future child. And now, I get to practice on my very own niece/nephew. I don't want to be a baby-sitter but I certainly want to occupy the position of an aunt, a secret-keeper, a matured playmate, a guardian. All in all, a loving kin the child can turn to for refuge, for guidance.

Anyway, I just can't wait to bring my niece for mani/pedi or wrestling with my nephew. Pillow fights, popcorn and make-up on the way! I hope to be their favourite, most coolest aunt ever!

Define special. He asked. I could only think of 2 ways to answer. The traditional linguistic method of turning to the dictionary and a korean drama. And more recently, to do a search on articles with the word special.

So what's a special friend? According to Merriam Webster's Online Dictionary, special as it is used in 'a special friend' means held in particular esteem. It also carries the meaning of being unique, for a special purpose, distinguished by some unusual quality. As always, the dictionary cannot be compared to our mental lexicon. So as vague as my heart would have it, the dictionary reflected the ambiguity perfectly.

Boys Over Flowers/Boys Before Flowers, the Korean version of Meteor Garden, came to mind. Ji Hoo is Jan-Di's special friend. Although the one she falls in love with is Jun Pyo. Ji Hoo is always there for her, offering her consolation and advice. He's her special friend. To understand it fully, he'll probably have to watch the 25-episode drama.

Another article entitled "Can You Really Draw Close to God?" described God as our special friend. An intimate friend whom I can confide in. One who cares about me and I trust him to be loyal. One who multiplies my joy when I share it with him. One who lessens my sorrow when I am depressed.

One who occupies a special place in my heart. Then again, define special place.

Rainbows and butterflies... that was supposed to be the original title for my blog. The long-awaited and terribly overdue blog that I've wanted to create. So yeah, apparently this title was not available as a URL. Funny thing is when I checked, the blog with this title had already been removed. Haiz. Anyway, thought that rainbows-sam-butterflies would sound almost the same, and even a 2-year old kid would be able to pronounce it. hooray! Plus it has my name in it. So kudos to me!

Let's get to the essence of the blog's name and address. First of all, I've always put rainbows and butterflies together since I was a kid. I guess they symbolise happiness. The feeling of being carefree, of colour, of joy, of the wonderful idealistic paradise this world is currently lacking. Of course, there's also the connotation of transience. The temporary appearance of the rainbow after a storm. The elusive gentle flapping of the wings of a butterfly. No matter how short-lived, they are the little pleasures of life that God has so generously provided all of mankind. Likewise, I hope to use this blog as a platform to jot down the sudden thoughts and musings that come to me, the smallest of joys that I get to enjoy.

As you can tell, I have this fascination over the rain, hence, sweet.drizzle. The most beautiful sense of taste combined with the slight continuous drizzle that is refreshing and brings to mind memories once lived.