I hate doing group projects. And I'm starting to doubt if I'm truly a team player.
Or do I just stress people up too much cos I'm a kanchiong spider? Is it wrong to just want an A? To want everything to be as close to perfection?
I sometimes feel like giving up. But the fear remains. What if I let go? And no one else catches it before it falls? Maybe I just need to relax and everything will fall into place.
I am tired. Physically, emotionally, mentally.
I miss Korea.
I want to tell you that I like you. but not in that way. and not in the normal way either. whatever that means.
So today was kinda good. Had a slow morning just lazing in front of the tv and then doing a bit of reading. After which I headed to field service. It was great cos we saw quite like 3 bible studies. =)And the weather was purrrfect! Rainy.. cool.. just like a dream.
Then came home feeling good. Started helping mum with her work. Formatting. The most annoying job in the world. Stared at the laptop screen till my contacts went dry. So got tired and moody. Went to my room to do some reading of 228. But all the technical stuff just switched my mind off.
Decided to go for the bbq party in the end. At first it was slow..but I was happy to see people I like there. People who are not stressed about school like me. And people who are not working on the same projects as me. Took my mind off work for a bit. Ended with Thing-a-ma-bot. Quirky fun.
Then came home. Received sms about doing project tmr. Somehow I feel my groupmate would rather I'm not around when they are doing our project.
Why does our conflict always have to be win-lose? Can't it be a win-win? Or a compromise? Why does me compromising always make u feel like a beggar? I don't understand. Probably never will.
Anyway, I still want to be your groupmate and your friend. Because besides this problem, I really think the rest of our friendship is great. =D And at least we're being more open to each other now. Kudos to friendship!